LETS TALK ABOUT WHERE THE YOGA BEGINS.

BUT I can't do yoga "again" ! Yes I actually said this. Me, a yogi who knows full well that yoga isn't just about the physical practice and that the science of yoga encompasses more than I could share with you here in this typed bit. My mind is blown the more and more I educate myself on what yoga really is. What it has to offer us and WHAT IT REEEAAALY IS! !

However, yes I said it to my doctor as he explained to me that I would need to go through a 4th spinal surgery the other day. So, here is the deal ya'll. A bit of background about my journey.

I went into a Yoga Teacher Training program about 2 years ago. I want into it after having had a spinal implant put in for pain management. I have always loved yoga and it therapeutically has been amazing for my muscle spasms and pain. It has done wonders for my depression, anxiety and over all health. However, once I was ready to head into this program after healing from an intense spinal surgery which gave me a CYBROG type implant to help control my pain I was blown away by the philosophy of yoga and MORE.

I had drank the coo-laid guys. I went to Teacher Training two nights a week for 3 hours per night. Plus extra classes outside that were required at the studio AND I had a daily practice which I created fro myself. I was immersed in yoga and it felt AMAZING!

SOMETHING happend to me and I started to change. My body was changing but so was my mind, my perspective, my heart. As my body opened up and awakened so did my mind and I even found a soul in there somewhere. I have never been "spiritual" but there in that room full of like-minded yogis I felt connection. I was blissed out all the time and feeling JOY......no reason. JUST JOY, contentment and first the first time happiness inside myself.

I became totally okay with silence and craved it. My body was strong and the more yoga asana (movement) I practiced the more my body wanted and the less pain and suffering I was feeling. I was focused in a way I had never been in my life. I couldn't wait to share what I felt with the world.

BUT WAIT!  ! !

I wanted to share what I was feeling with the world.....now that is the hard thing to explain to you. When people of the world come to a "yoga class" they are mostly coming to "work out". They might enjoy the tid bit of philosophy or little wisdom I share with them but they are NOT coming there to search deeply into themselves and go through a massive self-transformation. RIGHT?

I get it. I do.

So, I just have to say, when I found yoga .....when I REALLY FOUND IT, that is what I found. I found amazing connection with a self inside me that I didn't even know was there. I found NEW perspective, and new eyes. Also, there was this amazing strong , loving person looking back at me that I never thought was in there too. She had abilities I never thought possible with my physical limitations. I learned to honor and respect my limitations and through that I have been accomplishing more than I ever dreamed , including a sense of peace I never dreamed of.

WITH ALL THAT SAID!

This brings us to today.......just had another surgery a few weeks ago....and no asana for me for 6 weeks. THAT IS hard for me. Yoga movement for me is a moving meditation that I practice every day. Connection to my breath and the movements of my "broken" body allows me to move past all that is hurting and painful there and creates less pain and less obstacles for me. With each surgery I have taken time each day to move my hands....connect with breath, self and meditate. This has been crucial. THIS IS YOGA.

I keep saying this to myself. THIS IS YOGA. I know this in my heart as I know that "stilling the fluctuations of the mind" is also yoga. The movements of yoga is only one path to this.

Just after 2 weeks from this 3rd surgery they told me it didn't take and I would need to go back in for another, more aggressive spinal surgery. UT OH! No asana again?

Not just no ASANA, no jogging and in bed totally for 2 weeks. No movement for me, in general is rough. LOL

LETS TALK ABOUT WHERE THE YOGA BEGINS.
RIGHT NOW ! !

So, my mentors have talked to me about this giving me unbelievable support. AND they are right. My mind goes off on all my worries of what "no asana" will do to my body and how long it will take me to gain back what I have worked so hard to gain physically. However, I CAN NEVER LOOSE, what I have gained mentally. I have gained a site that I will never unsee.

I CAN BREATH, I CAN DO YOGA. I CAN MOVE MY FINGERS- TOES....i can do yoga.

HECK YA.....I am here to tell you that I can do yoga every day . I am aware and present in the here and now about my feelings about my asana practice and that my dearest friends is me working it out with myself. This is my yoga.

This struggle is real for this YOGINI.

I can't wait to FLOW through SURYA NAMASKARA again but until that day I am here learning mudras, nidra and practicing restraint to honor the healing that must take place. KNOW that it is NOT easy. However, I honor this path and accept it.

~Namaste~
Yogini Opa

My Social Cocoon and the Sleeping Sheep

I'm in a social cocoon. 

Too much on my mind,

yoga to do, zen to find.

Basics to tend to, 

So heavy my life, 

And pieces of me falling away,

A little more each day.

So, yoga is my only sane. 

Got business in my brain to tame...

Falling appart at my seams 

You might see soon the innards of me.

Softness and peace find me.. 

But only a moment they stay.. 

Drift away... And there I am... 

Again my worried mind and I.

I build my social cocoon

Let it protect me from untruths 

By turning inward I strive to

Leave these sleeping sheep

Finding calm and peace - truth

by, Opal CH

Peace be EVERYWHERE.

Om Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu

May Peace & Happiness Prevail

This is a PEACE MANTRA :Om lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu. Although this mantra does not appear in any of the existent Veda sakhas [Vedic branches], it is an expression of the universal spirit that we find therein. Let's take a look at what context it appears in and what meaning it carries. The sloka as a whole reads as follows:

May there be well being to the people;
May the kings rule the earth along the right path;
May the cattle and the Brahmins have well being forever;
May all the beings in all the worlds become happy;
Peace, peace and peace be everywhere!

The basic gist is "for peace and harmony to prevail, the kings--i.e. the politicians and leaders--should have a healthy approach towards their subjects and govern according to principles of dharma."

Harmony between humans and the rest of creation is also stressed in this prayer. Actually cow can be taken as representative of the entire animal kingdom. The Sanskrit word for cattle is "go," which is a most profound Vedic symbol and has many subtle spiritual meanings. Two such secondary meanings are "earth" and "mother," and as such the sloka could also be a prayer for the welfare of Mother Earth.

The most important aspect of the mantra is that the sage does not pray only for his clan or nation but for the whole world or, more precisely, all the world.  Instead of asking for something for our self, pray to universe/ higher power, for the whole of creation. 

Praying to your higher power for the welfare of all sentient beings--all humans, all animals, all plants—our mind becomes more expansive. Through such prayer we slowly can go beyond our limited egocentric concepts of self to identify with the entire creation, recognizing its true nature to be none other than our own...... as we too are part of the WORLD/ UNIVERSE, we also are benefited from the blessings of the prayer.

Om Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu

Sources: 

yoga class taken at Spirit of Yoga

http://archives.amritapuri.org/bharat/mantra/lokah.php

written by: Dragonfly

A New Year - A New Chapter to my story.....

2014-- is here. Looking back over the year it was a tough one just like the one before. 2013 had many challenges for me. Both physical and mental.

Finding doctors is always hard in a new city. Here in az is no exception. The year before it was WI and searching lead to some really great medical care there. However, here in AZ it has been a bit more involved. I have gone through several psychiatrist just because their offices keep closing and now I am frustrated with the new one I have found because I am not sure they are the place for me.

Before Chronic pain I wouldn't have worried so much about the mental health care I was getting but with being in pain daily I absolutely must keep on top of my mood and make sure I am not falling into negative thinking. It causes me pain and more struggle to do so.

So, I continue with this challenge of getting my mental health in order along with finding a new Neurologist, Dentist....and so on.

What I see for this new "chapter" of my life is that I will for the first time in 9 years take steps toward my future career again. I don't see my career the same way as I once did. I have chosen YOGA and a healing path so that I may keep my health in check and at the same time help others who are ill or struggling.

I will start a yoga therapy program at Southwest Institute of Healing Arts end of January. Starting with Aromatherapy. I am both scared and excited at this change in my life. I think often that I might not be able to handle it and might end up having to (once again) give it up and try something else. What I have this time is a back up plan. If I am not well enough to actually do the yoga part of the training herbal-ism and aromatherapy very much interests me. Whats great about this school is they offer all of that.

How did I come to the realization that YOGA was something I wanted to DO. Well, I gotta tell ya, over the last many many years of being ill i wasn't drawn toward anything. Nothing at all. I have been down about so many things i have lost the ability to do. My husband asks me over and over what I will do with my life and he so badly wants to see me doing more than just lay on the couch in pain. I gotta say so do I. Thing is there was this barrier to doing something....to making that decision of what it might be. Well, because it had to be possible...physically and mentally possible for me. I was feeling pretty weak and incapable.

I added yoga back into my life about a year ago and found myself getting stronger and more focused and feeling more drawn toward it than ever. It brought something for me in terms of physical healing and also mental focus. Unfortunately, the migraine and pain meds I am on create quite a fog. It makes it very hard to think straight about anything. It actually became so hard for me to think that I choose not to.

I addressed this problem with a doctor I see here and he was just wonderful and my savoir. He said that "it is no way to live feeling in a fog" . he gave me medication to help me focus and even though I was reluctant to add anymore meds to my routine I did and am so thankful. I have regained my art again and reading again. I haven't read in 9 yrs. Not articles...not books ....nothing. Now I read all the time so that I can learn. and I LOVE IT.

So, I began my second journey with yoga in about May 2013. My first journey with Yoga was years ago before I was sick. From '98 to about 2004 I enjoyed studying at a gym. That type of yoga was more about fitness and only fitness. This new path I am taking is more than that.

This yoga journey is about a total ME. spiritual as well as physical.

I will post more as it comes to me. .......